It’s a special day. It’s my birthday.
For 29 years, I’ve been strutting my stuff around this planet. But, I’ve not given much thought to what ‘my stuff’ really is.
That’s not entirely true. I’ve given far too much thought as to what ‘my stuff’ is, but I’ve never given these thoughts much care or attention. It seems contradictory, but let me explain.
I’ve never really struggled with self-assurance. If I thought I could do something, or just even wanted to do it, I would. If I wanted to teach my younger siblings the art of taking molds of deer tracks, I would. If I wanted to be the school president at the age of 14, I would. If I wanted to leave a fantastic opportunity to start my own business, I would.
But, while assured I could do all these things (and did), have I accepted who I am along the way? No. Self-acceptance and self-assurance, to me, are very different things.
It’s only recently that I’ve been able to put this feeling into words. Some sign of the universe, I suppose to prep me for this project. Why now? Because for the first time that I can really remember, I’m not sure what my next step is.
And when you’re working with clients who are looking to you to provide guidance on their next step, it can feel very uncomfortable when I’m sharing the advice I’ve never taken myself.
My business will be celebrating its second birthday in March. Woo! But, in all that time, I’ve never done up a business plan, made a brand strategy, or—insert gasp—completed a budget. Hell, had my mom not yelled at me to get a website up after nine months of running my business, I’m not sure I would have. Love you, mom!
This goes against everything I advise my clients on; what are your goals, what are your brand values, how much do you have to spend, how much do you want to make? If my clients don’t have these items, we work on them. But, I follow this up with “don’t look at what I’m doing, because I’m not.” Yikes.
Against My Logic
My logic and reason have tried to prevail. I’ve started reading business books. I’ve started working through brand worksheets. I’ve put together a basic monthly budget. But, that’s where I’ve stopped; pieces in progress with no intent to finish.
Not because I don’t want to. Because I don’t know what direction I want to go.
Again, my logic begins jumping up and down with excitement, saying “find your purpose. Find your mission!” The rest of my emotions, however, are asking the important question, “how?”
It’s very clear that uncovering that next step, even just figuring out a brand, doesn’t happen overnight. But, I don’t think many people talk about this process. After all, it’s a cleaner story when the expert, guru, or celebrity provides just the highlights of their journey.
So, as I figure out my next step, I want to document not only the highlights but the little-itty bits too. I don’t know what this will look like. I'm nervous to dive into 'my stuff', but I'm also excited...plus, I've told far too many people about this project to back out now.
Here's to uncovering the true, Rio Deal.